beta me please?

[rev.tsukiyama]

okay. I've got a couple of fics in need of a good going over. Go on, do your worst, it's the only way I'll learn. ;D.

The first is a Cain fic. It's a nasty hentai PWP and not for minors. I already posted half of it somewhere but it's finished now.
http://www.nijikon.net/newromantic/cain002.htm

Oh, And I've just remembered the other one isnt online yet. XP.

[Reikou Hitakana]

I'll give it a read if it as long as I don't have to read cain to get it (not that I don't want to read cainl, I'm just VERY behind on EVERYTHING, I haven't even caught up on love mode yet ;.; ) If it requires knowledge, then I'll get to it this week sometime. Maybe I should just make this the week of yaoi ;P

-Reikou

[Sweet_Princess]

is so nasty poor Jez...

I think im gonna puke [img]graemlins/cry_smile.gif[/img]

[yukawai]

hum, it's nice. Sorry I didn' reply before ^^;

Anyway, I like the way the sentences reflect what Jez's thinking, maybe you could cut some a bit more, becaseu Jez's thinking too long sentences if he's realy in that kind of pain. But most are realy great.

To detail the way the wooden table felt under his hands a bit alike when he loked at the titles of the books in the library while being whiped would add to the "I'm trying to ignore I'm gettin abuse and concentrating on other things while I'm perfectly aware of that pain" bit.
I comment, I comment, but I find it great the way it is. ^^;

[tenjou_sama]

It's a fanfic...some fanfic is meant to be cruel. There are not rules saying what a person has to write about ^^

[Sweet_Princess]

pardon me.. but yue how could you say that is nice?... It's a violation..the poor kid is suffering ;he's bleeding...


And to the creator of the story I must say, you write well but the story is cruel.
[img]graemlins/cry_smile.gif[/img]

Im sorry about my comment yue , but I'm new at this .X_X

<font color="#660033" size="1">[ June 04, 2003 12:32 AM: Message edited by: Merry_Weather ]</font>

[rev.tsukiyama]

shit, I forgot about this thread.
:hangs head: true, I am a terrible person. I might get away with it if I was a better writer, though. XD. I admit I have real trouble writing ffic for some reason. Sometimes you just get and idea you want to try out though. Having thought about it, I want to emphasise Alexis' part. I just think he dosent get many ffic parts and well, you can't write nice things about a badnasty sister-raping crazy like him.
thanks for the feedback. I did warn you it was nasty....

[Sweet_Princess]

[img]graemlins/bat.gif[/img] ok ok Im really sensitive these days i don't know why [img]graemlins/cry_smile.gif[/img]

[yukawai]

hum, to answer the question, well, if the fic is meant to be cruel and is, then it's good. If you ever read a rape fic, you cn't just go telling the author the story is badly written because it's about rape. What I was saying was good was the way to bring it, the description and all of that. It is mostly meant to touch you, and as you see, it did, therefor it's good ^^

[Shia]

well.. I don't think she meant to say that the story was written in a bad way.. just that she didn't really like the things happening ^^

I have to say sensitive people really scare me cause I sometimes totaly lack a sense of sensitivity when it comes to such topics cause I'm so totally used to violence and nasty things happening in stories that I usually forget to consider that some people might be offended by that ^^;;

I liked your story, tsukiyama [img]graemlins/thumbs_up.gif[/img] but I'm not really good enough when it comes to writing to give a more reaonable feedback than "good story, liked the way it was written in... and the content >.< "